These things are complicated but I don't think I agree with your takeaways. Key point 1 sounds like the man is being asked to take accountability for someone else's feelings, that doesn't sound right at all. The supposed bad result is the marriage might end but the woman is not happy and she apparently chose him not because she loved or admired him but because he was safe and now she resents him for it. Sounds like she owes him a HUGE apology for taking the best years of his life. He is much better off living the rest of his life alone or with someone more in touch with their feelings and less bitter.